What is Emotional Atonement

Emotional attunement = You get me = You LOVE me.

It’s the ability to accurately sense, understand, and respond to another person’s internal experience. Thankfully, it’s not about agreeing and not solving problems.

This skill is SUPER important with partners, friends, clients, or even colleagues. And while some people seem naturally attuned, it’s actually a technique.

Emotional Attunement is when…

• The notice of a change in tone or volume

• Understanding the feeling before tackling the logic

• Pouring on validation, support, love.

Why It Matters

• A decrease in defensiveness

• Deepens connections

• Improves Regulation and/or co-regulation

What Gets in the Way

• Fixing the logic too quickly

• Listening to the facts and ignoring the feelings

• Assuming or judging

How to Practice Emotional Attunement

• Slow down

• Stay curious, not judgmental

• Hug, hug, and hug some more

What is the take away?

There is too much focus on fixing the “logic”, and not supporting the feelings. Emotional attunement is not about saying the “right”, but instead focusing on the emotions than can transform a tense interaction into a loving and growing one.