Amor Fati - The path to Assertiveness

Amor fati is Latin for “love of fate.” After a tough situation has occurred, Amor Fati goes beyond acceptance, and to meaning, lesson, and growth.  As you notice, this phrase is old and has a different meaning from of how fate is often used today.  

So, let’s dive deeper.

We can not change…  Heartbreak, Disappointment, Rejection, or Failure. We can not have an item after it has been sold out. We can not love someone who does not want to be loved. And we can not wish away a mistake.

But we can learn, grow, and love our future.  That is the power of amor fati.

Instead of allowing our experiences to become wounds, we can become better.  Mistakes become wisdom. Weakness become strength. Rejection deepen our compassion. Disappointment clarifies what matters.

Please don’t misunderstand.  This doesn't mean what happened was great, because it wasn’t.  It doesn't mean you have to be grateful for being hurt, because you won’t.   And it doesn't mean you should passively accept difficult situations, because the technique of being assertive leads to a HAPPIER, HEALTHIER, and a MORE MEMORABLE LIFE. 

amor fati 

Commonly, we wait for someone to make things right. Waiting for an apology. Waiting for an explanation. Wait for the person who caused the hurt to understand what they did.  Wait!

But healing begins when we stop waiting for someone else to rewrite our past, and take charge of writing our future.

For example, imagine losing a job you loved.  A natural first question is:  “Why me?”

Amor Fati asks a different question:  “How will I be better from this?”

Not because losing a job was part of some perfect plan.  Not because the disappointment wasn't real.  But because Amor Fati is assertive, positive, and we can. 

Through Amor Fati, we become victors, not victims.  We no longer survive an experience, but take back power in order to have an amazing future.

The Takeaway

AMOR FATI is not loving suffering, not loving an outcome, not pretend it didn't hurt.  Amor Fati, is not about reframing something to be “good” because something good eventually came from it. 

Amor Fate is about loving the person you become because you’re brave enough to walked through difficulties.

BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT!