Que sera, sera - Whatever will be, will be

Que Sera, Sera

In 1956, Doris Day sang Que Sera, Sera, Whatever Will Be, Will Be.  The song asks questions about the future. What will I be? What will life bring? What will happen when I grow up? And eventually, the answer remains simple: 

Que sera, sera - Whatever will be, will be.

Psychologically, we humans can anticipate possibilities, prepare for problems, rehearse conversations, analyze decisions and picture what might happen years from now. Those abilities have helped us survive and build extraordinary lives. But the same abilities can also make us believe that if we think or worry about the future enough, it can become reality. However, despite our best efforts, we can’t.

There is a difference between preparing for the future and living in the future. Preparation can give us confidence, while living in the future gives us anxiety.

Think about how often the mind asks questions that cannot yet be answered: Will this work out? Will they stay? Will I make the right decision? What if something changes? Will people like me if it doesn’t work?

Que Sera, Sera offers a different relationship with uncertainty, because we can become comfortable with the unknown.

That is an important psychological shift. It allows us to move from prediction to participation. Rather than spending so much energy trying to forecast every possible version of outcomes, we can put more of ourselves into the part of life that is actually control… The process.

We can have conversations, make plans, think things through, save money, study, practice, take care of the people we love, and make thoughtful decisions. 

Que sera, sera, means you can do all of that and allow the outcome to become what it will.  Peace develops when we embrace the fact that our choices belong to us, our effort belongs to us, our character belongs to us, and the way we treat people belongs to us.

Que Sera, Sera has lasted because we can be deeply invested in our future without demanding that the future give us guarantees.

We can hope without knowing. We can prepare without predicting. We can love without controlling. We can move forward without having the entire road visible.  Life is something we are living while we’re figuring it all out; eventually we figure things out and begin living.

So make plans. Dream big. Work hard. Love deeply. Take care of the people who matter to you. Do the things that are within your control.  But when you reach the place where you have done what you can, take a breath and allow yourself to say these simple words: 

Que sera, sera - Whatever will be, will be.